Kill the Keurig Before it Kills Us

Join the resistance!


If Only Jeep Would Build These Prototypes

As Jeep fans have sat back and sadly watched one horrible design after another roll off the production line, all the while quietly humming Taps for their beloved Jeep, the company throws them a teaser with enough beauty to jump start even the most hardened heart.

At the 2015 Moab Easter Jeep Safari, Jeep brought along a few concept vehicles that are absolutely stunning. So stunning in fact that you know there isn’t a snowball’s chance in hell of them ever actually hitting the showroom floor.

The best designs presented were the ones based on the Jeep Wrangler Unlimited.

Here’s the top concept for the show: The Jeep Chief Concept.

Jeep Chief prototype

Even the most jaded Jeep addict jumped out of their seat when they looked at this one. It’s an almost perfect retro version of the old Jeep Cherokee Chief, but modernized and much more attractive. Although I would pass on the beach version with its flowers and Hawaiian theme, a more masculine version would put me on the front lines for the order sheet.

Another fantastic version is the Africa edition.

Jeep Africa prototype

Looking like an old Land Rover, it’s a no-nonsense functional vehicle that’s got plenty of room and comes equipped for actual off-road adventure with steel wheels, winch and a diesel engine. The retracting rock rails would have to go, because after one hit on an actual rock and they simply wouldn’t function anymore. It’s also terribly prissy for an actual off-road vehicle. Leave it on the Navigator.

The Staff Car is a bit too war glorifying for my taste, but it’s definitely a cool looking design.

Jeep Staff Car prototype

With some basic alterations, this would make the ultimate beach cruiser.

The Cherokee Canyon and Jeep Renegade Desert Hawk concepts are simply heinous. You just know that the designers that were assigned to these two pieces of crap are at the bottom of the pecking order in every way. They probably had to fetch coffee for the designers that worked on the Wrangler concepts. Clearly, they knew that they couldn’t make either one of these things look even remotely cool, so they just spent 20 minutes on the design and went back to playing on their phones for the rest of the day.

Unfortunately, none of the truly original and awe inspiring designs presented will make it to production. That would require people at the decision making level to have an appreciation for automotive aesthetics and an ability to understand when a winner has been put on their desk.

No, Jeep will shelve these designs and come out with some other new wussified urban exploration vehicles. It’s sad, but Jeep fans all know it’s true.



Sent From My iPhone

Sent from my iPhone signature

Translation: I am a pretentious, self-centered, narcissistic twit.

I’ve never understood why people keep that signature on their phones. Do they really think that people are impressed that they sent an email from their iPhone? If so, they’re bragging that they’ve managed such a difficult process that only 2 billion other people have also done so.

Do they want the recipient to feel envious that they have an iPhone? This is highly probable, but at this point, highly ludicrous due to the overwhelming market dominance of the iPhone.

Are they trying to advertise that they are following the herd of mediocrity? It’s the opposite of declaring individuality, sort of like getting a tattoo. I am showing how much I want to be exactly like everybody else and I have no personality! They declare to the world that they have entered the least exclusive club on the planet.

Are they secretly being paid by Apple to advertise phones? I’m surprised that Apple doesn’t charge for the signature. Fanboys would probably pay a monthly fee to put it on their correspondence. I’m surprised that voicemails don’t have a tag line stating that the phone call was made on an iPhone, but that’s highly likely to actually happen in the near future.

Of course it could be that they’re just plain stupid and don’t even know how it got there.

Do yourselves a favor and remove the signature.

Sent from my totally rad device that’s way better than yours.