Kill the Keurig – Part 2

Kcups live hereIn the latter half of 2014, Keurig released a new version of their deplorable invention, this time with some changes that should make it much easier to truly hate this device.

You hate a coffee machine? Yes. Read this primer.

The new version, the K500, better described as Keurig 2.0, has one exciting new feature, and it’s one that should turn any current Keurig owner in to a hater. This new version requires that all the pods have a RFID embedded in the cup. Yes, a RFID, otherwise known as a radio frequency ID. It’s basically a microchip that is used to identify only Keurig brand cups. Those cups you bought for your last Keurig won’t work in the new one. Other brands won’t work either. A RFID for a cup of coffee. Unbelievable.

Also, you can no longer utilize those reusable, refillable cups. Ja, any regard for the environment must be strictly verboten at Keurig.

The real kicker is that Keurig is owned by Green Mountain Coffee, a company that I once used to be quite loyal to due to their fine coffee and their support for fair trade coffee. They purchased Keurig in 2006 to expand their brand as they quickly lost the streetcorner battle to Starbucks, but clearly threw their conscience out the proverbial window in the aftermath. Now they have become nothing more than a clear danger to the environment and a bunch of greenwashing hucksters. Visit their website to see the absurdity of their “green” goal of sustainability.

I know people who call themselves environmentalists that actually own these devices. It’s hard to comprehend how stupid and detached people can be to operate one of these; throwing plastic armored organic waste in to the trash that will take millions of years to decompose. All so you can save a minute in your morning.

Basically, you have to be a complete fucking asshole to buy one of these pieces of crap. Feel free to point that out to people you know with one. A Keurig, that is.


One thought on “Kill the Keurig – Part 2

  1. The old original model Keurig is awesome. We can put our own coffee grind into it from the grinder using the adaptor. However, we got mom a new Keurig on THanksgiving Day of 2015. It was horrible. Clogging problems started within less than 30 days; we took it back to the store and got another. Mom has descaled that thing a multitude of times, it is slow slow now; what a piece of junk. It’s the one with the coffee pot on the side. Can’t use your own grind – only Keurig brand cups. What junk. What waste. What a headache. Guess what? I gave mom back her awesome older model and we’ll be contacting Keurig hoping for our money back on the garbage model.

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