Another Example of Jeep’s Inevitable Decline

2014 Jeep Cherokee

In 2014, Jeep resurrected the old beloved Cherokee with a new design that is clearly targeting modern mall adventurers. Similar in design type to the new Nissan Pathfinder, the new Cherokee sports a very feminine look that will be a big hit with mommies with extremely bad taste. Hell, Nissan manages to sell their line of absurdly designed garbage, so Jeep will probably move a few of these, too, but not enough.

Unfortunately, we are most likely witnessing the final stages of the cancer that is destroying this once great car company. Pontiac began its precipitous decline with the release of the Aztec, an error that transformed the Pontiac name in to a joke. The Cherokee, along with the Renegade and the Compass, is having the same effect on Jeep.

The only thing that may save Jeep from itself is the ubiquitous horrid design that we are seeing across the automobile world. Almost everything coming out of Asia and America is fairly ugly, so consumers’ choices all seem to blend in to each other.

Either way, I hope it’s not too late for Jeep, but if they continue down this path, they’ll be just another car company relegated to nostalgia.


Christmas Murder by Family Pet

Dangerous Pit Bull Eddie Cahill of  Portage, Indiana was mauled to death by his pit bull on Christmas Day.

“I don’t want people to think bad of pit bulls. It was a freak accident. He loved the dogs.” said his widow.

This idiot’s husband was just torn to shreds and killed by their Pit Bull, and she is still thinking that they’re fine family pets. It’s easy to say that she may be the dumbest human out there, but she’s most likely no different than any other moronic Pit Bull owner.  This was no freak accident. It’s their nature and nobody should be surprised when this type of incident occurs.

“They were playful dogs,” she said. “One slept with the girls and the other slept with me and my husband.”

Anybody who would keep a Pit Bull in the same house as a child should have their children taken away because they clearly don’t love their children, nor are they capable of making decisions that protect the child’s life. These people and their killer dogs are a direct threat to the community and should be treated as such.

Kill the Keurig – Part 2

Kcups live hereIn the latter half of 2014, Keurig released a new version of their deplorable invention, this time with some changes that should make it much easier to truly hate this device.

You hate a coffee machine? Yes. Read this primer.

The new version, the K500, better described as Keurig 2.0, has one exciting new feature, and it’s one that should turn any current Keurig owner in to a hater. This new version requires that all the pods have a RFID embedded in the cup. Yes, a RFID, otherwise known as a radio frequency ID. It’s basically a microchip that is used to identify only Keurig brand cups. Those cups you bought for your last Keurig won’t work in the new one. Other brands won’t work either. A RFID for a cup of coffee. Unbelievable.

Also, you can no longer utilize those reusable, refillable cups. Ja, any regard for the environment must be strictly verboten at Keurig.

The real kicker is that Keurig is owned by Green Mountain Coffee, a company that I once used to be quite loyal to due to their fine coffee and their support for fair trade coffee. They purchased Keurig in 2006 to expand their brand as they quickly lost the streetcorner battle to Starbucks, but clearly threw their conscience out the proverbial window in the aftermath. Now they have become nothing more than a clear danger to the environment and a bunch of greenwashing hucksters. Visit their website to see the absurdity of their “green” goal of sustainability.

I know people who call themselves environmentalists that actually own these devices. It’s hard to comprehend how stupid and detached people can be to operate one of these; throwing plastic armored organic waste in to the trash that will take millions of years to decompose. All so you can save a minute in your morning.

Basically, you have to be a complete fucking asshole to buy one of these pieces of crap. Feel free to point that out to people you know with one. A Keurig, that is.