Tattooed Losers

tramp stamp
Translation: "Treat me like the pig that I am."

People with tats are morons. It’s really that simple.

They always use the same old bullshit line, “I’m showing my individuality”, or some other version, to explain why they got some ugly tattoo that looks like every other ugly tattoo. They’re expressing their individuality just like everyone else. Remember goatees? Same thing. Whatever the latest trend is, they’re grabbing it with both hands. These days it seems like the dumber the trend, the greater chance of widespread popularity.

What is more toady than copying other vulgarites by paying exorbitant fees to have your body destroyed by some loser portraying himself as an artist? This fad has done nothing more than showing what unbelievably unindividualistic people really are.

Tats belong on people who need to be visually horrifying, such as circus freaks, pirates and cannibals, not on people who actually hope to get a real job that requires respect from others.

I would love to see a survey that shows just how much that tattoo will cost you over the course of your life, in the same vein as the benefits of a college education. A tattoo on the head or neck would probably cost hundreds of thousands of dollars over your life and will probably increase the probability of the owner ending up in jail by thousands of percentage points.

In my professional environment, if you display your tats, not only are you immediately discounted in the face of the other employees, you may have just placed yourself at the top of the layoff list. Unless you’re really fucking unbelievable at your job. And you know what? You’re not. Very few people are.

The economic future is going to get more difficult for people to get and hold jobs, so to make yourself less employable by getting a tat is economic suicide. Nobody wants to hire a circus freak except for the circus and your local organic coffee shop.


Black Wheels

Ugly M3
BMW M3 destroyed by owner

In automotive design, wheels are an exceptionally important component in the overall beauty of the car. Automakers spend a great deal of design time on the wheels and making sure that they integrate and enhance the overall aesthetics of the car.

But in this day and age of grotesqueness, where people destroy their bodies with heinous tattoos, bizarre piercings and pretty much any other method that results in transforming themselves in to ghastly, hideous zombies, it’s only natural that they apply the same paintbrush to their cars. Thus, the black wheel trend.

Black wheels give cars that not-so-attractive “spare tire” look. The visual draw of the car is completely destroyed, ruining the visual experience and degrading the visual value of the car.
The real joke is that these horrendous wheels aren’t free, but then the idiots who buy them are also the ones who spend thousands for a sleeve tat, so clearly they are willing to pay a hefty price to be ugly.