Watson on Jeopardy

Of all the dumb ideas conjured up for game shows, bringing an IBM computer on to compete with the two greatest Jeopardy champions may be one of the worst.

In a ridiculous advertising campaign for IBM computers, the nerds at IBM created a massive supercomputer to take on two feeble humans in a game of trivia. The show consists of roughly 33% advertising for IBM and 66% regular Jeopardy, making the show extremely painful to watch, particularly when the camera swings over to the crowd of ugly geeks in the audience applauding for the human’s demise. It was something out of a science fiction movie where the computers finally achieve self-realization before turning on their creators.

As for the fairness of the competition, there was almost none as clearly Watson had the upper hand by a long shot. The questions are given to Watson immediately in electronic form while the humans have to read or listen to the clue. That gives Watson a huge amount of extra time to compute the results since the electronic version is read and parsed in milliseconds as opposed to actual seconds for the humans to process the clue. All you had to do was watch Ken Jennings hit his clicker every time in sheer frustration to see the computer’s advantage. I was amazed that Jennings didn’t just say “Fuck this nonsense!” and just walk off the stage. Paul Rutter just seemed happy to get some camera time to help his “acting” career.

One item I found incredibly funny was a short video of the Watson developers testing the system with a MacBook! So much for IBM Thinkpads.

Please, Alex, don’t let this crap happen again!

Cram It Mini!

Mini crap
As difficult as it was to choose a clear winner for the raunchiest, most obnoxious and insulting Super Bowl ad this year, I have to give it to the British automaker, Mini, who horrified anyone with even the slightest sense of decency with their latest ad, “Cram it in the boot”.

Obviously, some childish advertising flunkie who spends all his spare time watching porn films came up with the incredibly sophomoric idea of selling Minis by using a game-show platform titled, “Cram it in the boot”, a not even remotely coy way of referring to anal sex. Unless the executives at Mini are completely brain dead, they must understand their market, and that market must consist of young, moronic males who laugh at every dirty joke they hear and still masturbate 5 times a day because they can’t get an actual woman to say anything to them other than “Fuck off, creep.”

Not that I would have any interest in one of their teeny, crappy cars, I think it behooves the more civilized members of our society to send them a letter and kindly tell them to stick it where the sun don’t shine.
Contact Mini and tell them it’s crap.