Ugly Car Post #1

What will become a regular item on this site is an aesthetic review of cars.  For starters, I’ll focus our attention on what I consider to be the ugliest vehicle currently available for sale as a new car, the GMC Terrain.

We bailed out GM so that they could release such an affront to the senses as this horrible hunk of sheet metal? What executive reviewed this design and thought, “Wow, we’ve got a winner. Let’s run with it.”? Fire that automotive Philistine on the spot. This just has to be the same design team that gave us that other automotive gem, the Aztek. Maybe GM was trying to recapture those bold buyers that yearned for a replacement of their beloved and justifiably maligned Azteks.

Probably the most difficult aspect to ignore on this pavement bound weenie-mobile is the overly flared wheelwells that make this CUV reminiscent of Michael Jackson in one of his “military” uniforms, all puffed up with nowhere to go and certainly with none of the necessary tools. Furthermore, the grill stands out like an oversized faux medal stuck to the chest of our automotive child molester.

It’s hard to say who the market is for such an incredibly ugly vehicle, but most likely it’s for those that lack any semblance of what might be called “taste”, which maybe points toward previous Hummer owners who are too humiliated to drive the old behemoths, but still feel the need to drive something that can compensate for their “shortcomings”.

On the fortunate side, this rolling tear gas attack hasn’t exactly been filling the streets lately, so most of us aren’t subject to the visual assault more than once in a blue moon. Feel free to laugh and point at these things as they go by, because it may be the only way to get them off the road, by making their owners understand just how stupid they look in their GM abortions.

Yup, it’s crap.

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Christo – Over the River, Over the Top

Christo and Jeanne-Claude, those internationally renowned hucksters posing as “artists”, have come up with their most audacious and vulgar project yet. This geographic eyesore involves draping 40 miles of plastic sheeting over the Arkansas River in Colorado.

It’s hard to imagine a greater insult to the beauty of this river, outside of a bulldozer or chemical dumping, that could be perpetrated than this destitute attempt to once again fool the moronic dilettantes who comprise the brain trust of modern art. Not only is this a colossal waste of resources, but clearly exemplifies the disconnect that these people have with the natural world, one in which they think by putting up temporary supports and then draping the entire length in cheap plastic that it somehow enhances the natural beauty of the area or resembles anything that could seriously be classified as art.

Clearly, it’s crap.